I'm sorry....

I'm sorry I've been such a bad friend. Not returning your calls or even calling you back. I've just been so caught up in my own issues that I've neglected yours. I keep thinking that you're in a happy place up in MD...but I guess that's not the case, is it?

Freddi did my tarot cards the other day. She told me that I was turning my back on a good friend(thing?) and that I should find out who it is and try to salvage whatever I had left. I took that to be you. I'm sorry. I don't know if saying it will even help anymore.

It's hard. Especially when I have issues with speaking on the phone. The reason being that I always tend to think it wastes so much time...just sitting there and speaking to someone for hours...even though, there may be emotional gain from it. And this isn't just you....it goes the same for everyone. *sigh* What can i say? I also haven't been sharing as much about my life with you....mostly because I realize what a closed person I am. I just don't like sharing my feelings with people...not even really good friends. But I'll try to get over them. And I will call you. Even if it kills me....I will. Because I love you. And I have a lot to learn from you. You keep saying art school is making you dumber...but I feel that you have actually surpassed me in many ways....more important ways than just academics. You have the emotional depth and maturity that would probably take me forever to obtain. And I wish I could be like you. You have this deep, hidden strength that I wish I had. I know things aren't going as well as you like, but I believe it'll all work out in the end. You're a good person and though I don't really believe in karma...I think you will be rewarded in the end. Just keep hanging on.

I love you.